The alternative is the international law regime set up after World War 2, the one designed to prevent nations dominating one another. That regime is just missing one piece: A just system of family policies that would prohibit the growth, and exploitation of future generations, the Benzel and Kotlikoff article highlights.
A just families system would replace growth-based national dominance with the goal of ensuring equitable families that raise children consistent with the Children’s Convention. That would move us away from a superpower, and towards the ideal of human rights: Sustainable and participatory democracies composed of people who truly have equal opportunities to thrive. Rather than vie for supremacy, we should urge the United Nations to do its job and help change family systems to create that future.
Matt Ball, longtime activist, husband, father, and early member of the Fair Start Movement, recently published his third book, Losing My Religions. A mix of memoir, essays, musings, photography, and travel log, Losing tells the story of Matt’s efforts to make the world a better place, while offering a fearless analysis of his many mistakes.
As one reviewer put it:
[H]e plays with quotes, stories, and a wily, at times even serious irreverence. He lets us into the world of his own joys, realizations, and daily suffering. Family, religion, consciousness, health, life, reality, and everything are given a series of pulsating reflections and staggering vulnerabilities that are hard to put down.
From a professional full-time writer:
A tour de force! The narrative and visuals (everything from Death Valley to chocolate crinkle cookies) are so lively. It’s really unlike anything I’ve read before.
And from Australia:
It’s only just after 7 am now and I read the first 70 pages. It’s very unusual writing and I have found it efficient in that I couldn’t put it down – even though I repeatedly thought I’d only just read one more page.
The ebook version is free; you can get the files and learn more at LosingMyReligions.net
Matt and Anne’s child Elwen, many years ago.
Here’s an excerpt from his chapter, “God, the Greatest Murderer of All Time”:
Abortion is awesome. It isn’t icky. It isn’t a “necessary evil.” It isn’t “I personally oppose abortion, but….” It isn’t something non-politicians should shy away from. Anything that can help women have more control over their reproduction is awesome. Anything that can help make every baby a wanted baby is awesome.
Just consider what the other side is saying: They, through the powers of the state, want to control when a woman can reproduce. They don’t want every child to be a wanted child.
We want every child to be a wanted child.
Think about it: take two pills and expel a tiny clump of cells with less sentience than a cockroach. The world is spared yet another unwanted child, and on average, poverty is reduced. The woman regains control of her life, and in the future, can bring a wanted and provided-for child into the world.
And from “Fight the Power Part 1: To breed or not to breed:”
Of the people you know well, how many were provided a happy, healthy, balanced, lie-free, totally-loved childhood? (Religion counts as a lie.)
And many parents are far less happy than you would think (or than they will let on). As is probably obvious, parents feel internal and external pressure to sing the praises of their children. But simply Google “Are single people happier?” or “Are childfree couples happier?” and you will find seemingly endless studies showing that having kids is definitely not the key to happiness. Doing this search while I write this, the top results say, “the data suggest single people are happier and more satisfied with their lives than commonly believed,” and “Couples without children have happier marriages, according to one of the biggest studies ever of relationships in Britain. Childless men and women are more satisfied with their relationships and more likely to feel valued by their partner.” And this happiness is in spite of our genetic and familial and social pressures to breed.
If you think your life would be empty without a child, your life has bigger problems than a child could or should fill. If you think your life won’t be full without a child, are you sure you want to fill it with pain, screams, worry, regret, poop, worry, anguish, apprehension, guilt, and then a topping of worry?
Matt and Anne.
…
I truly think that there would be a lot more happiness if fewer people got married and many fewer people had kids. Even before the pandemic, this seemed to be happening with folks currently in their twenties and thirties. So maybe more kids these days are breaking free of the pressures and doing what’s right for their own life satisfaction.
And “Test Your Marriage”:
Getting “fixed” was yet another example of how society promotes procreating. As happened to all my friends who got vasectomies, I was questioned very seriously if I really wanted this. (YES.) (Although it was uncomfortable, and seeing smoke rising … down there … well, there were moments….)
But no one grills you about bringing an entirely new person into the world. No one questions you about that decision at all. That. Is. Fucked. Up. Reverse that – make everyone who wants to breed pass an inquisition and let anyone who wants a vasectomy get one free and without hassle – and the world would be a vastly better place.
If you’d like to learn more from Matt’s “half-failed life of airplanes, agony, animals, basketball, bliss, cameras, chaos, cops…,” and discover how his life’s lessons led him to realize the importance of the Fair Start Movement, please check out LosingMyReligions.net. But be warned, you might have this reaction:
I am riveted. For the next 36 hours, I want to curve myself into a comfy chair and read every word, every quote, gaze at every photo…and then read it again.
In a recent piece in USA Today Clay Routledge and Will Johnson cover the story of sea changes in American fertility rates. But while they are likely right about the cause of the trend towards being childfree or having smaller families, they proceed from two false assumptions. First, the change is beneficial not detrimental, given the climate crisis and the threat it poses to our nation. While Routledge and Johnson seem eager to return to unsustainable growth that ignores biodiverse nature, changes in fertility are one of the best chances we have to mitigate the crisis and invest more in the children who will need to be prepared for the degraded ecologies of the future.
TAKE ACTION: Urge President and News & Editor in Chief for USA TODAY, Nicole Carroll, to report on the need for Fair Start family planning reforms, the most effective solution to the crises we face today. Email her here: EIC@usatoday.com
Amboseli Love works hard to empower young Maasai women, and now amidst a devastating drought, driven by the climate crisis. But like many groups, Amboseli Love is taking fundamental action, embracing child-centric family planning and other policies that enable them to make overriding calls for things like climate reparations from the nations that mostly created the climate crisis. Fair Start supports their calls, and urges others to as well.
Like most poor women in African nations, the majority of Maasai women in Kenya are destined to live a life of poverty and cultural oppression. Just one generation ago, less than 20 percent of Maasai women in Kenya enrolled in school. Today, even with free primary school education in Kenya since January 2003, only 48 percent of Maasai girls enroll in school, and only 10 percent of girls make it to secondary school.
Dickson at work.
Typically, Maasai girls are circumcised between the ages of 11 to 13 and soon afterwards married to a man chosen by her father in exchange for cattle and cash. A Maasai woman will never be allowed to divorce, except in the most egregious cases of physical abuse, and will never be allowed to marry again, even if the husband her father chooses is an old man who dies when she is still in her teens. Instead, she becomes the property of one of her husband’s brothers. She will be one of multiple wives, and will have many children, regardless of her health or ability to provide for them. She will rise early every day to milk cows and spend her days walking miles to water holes to launder clothes and get water, and to gather heavy loads of firewood to carry back home. If she is lucky, she will have a donkey to share her burden. She will live a life of few physical comforts, dependent on a husband and a family she did not choose. Her life expectancy is 45 years.
If you educate a woman: She will know her rights and have the confidence and independence to stand up for them. She will choose whom to marry and when to marry. She will have fewer children, and they will be healthier and better educated than the previous generation. She will not circumcise her daughters. She will have economic security. She will spend 90 percent of her income on her family, compared to 35 percent that an educated man would spend. She will help support her parents. She will not forget where she came from.
TAKE ACTION: Learn more about Amboseli, Www.amboselilove.com, and please give through our partner organization Rejoice Africa Foundation by simple marking your donation “for Amboseli.”
Fair Start has previously encouraged the Royal Family to embrace more ecologically sustainable and socially equitable family planning, but the impact of a long-running racist and colonial empire / monarchy raise much larger questions:
Why are so many fascinated by monarchies in a world that purports to be committed to democracy? Does the racist and colonial history of the Royal family obligate reparations? Does the continuing focus on royalty undercut commitments to equality of opportunity, antiracism, and the dismantling of colonization?
One way to show a commitment to justice, at the most fundamental level, would be to embrace family planning reforms that include the needs of future generations and nonhuman animals, using nature and equity as guides to help families cooperate to ensure the best future possible for all children.
That model is at direct odds with the concept of monarchy, and even politically symbolic monarchies.
Wherever one falls in the debate about the death of Queen Elizabeth II, the moment provides the opportunity to reflect, and to try to answer questions that many generations ago could not have been publicly addressed.
Now, ultraconservative lawmakers have combined with the administration of hard-line President Ebrahim Raisi, who was elected last year, to criminalize the termination of pregnancies except in cases of rape, incest and risks to the mother’s life. Many officials speak of producing offspring as a moral duty, with Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei condemning those who don’t as indulging in a decadent bourgeois affectation. . . . Some of the Youthful Population office’s inducements for childbearing have invited ridicule and criticism, such as making family expansion a factor for university professors to climb up the academic ladder.
Not only will Iran’s policies exacerbate the climate crisis by multiplying the nation’s environmental impact, but they do nothing to ensure that children will be born into conditions that ensure equal opportunities in life, or that will eventually lead to the development of democratic society Iran.
And that’s the whole point.
Iran’s move is enabled by the United Nation’s family planning model, which ignores human rights and environmental sustainability – never ensuring the conditions of democratic development required by things like the Children’s Convention – and instead permits unsustainable growth that favors concentrations of wealth and power in member states.
TAKE ACTION: Urge @Atayeshe, the head the UN’s Population Fund, to condemn the policy as the first and overriding human right, the right to an ecosocial Fair Start in life, the right that liberates people by limiting and decentralizing power and thereby building true democracy.
That harm is a violation of the human right to a safe and healthy and sustainable environment and flows from the decisions of people like former Exxon executive Lee Raymond to hide evidence of the emerging climate crisis, preventing policies and other efforts that could have stopped much of the harm we see unfolding today.
People like Lee, and his family, made a fortune by foisting the true costs of their money on the environment, and future generations. They hurt people, for their own benefit.
There is no greater act of justice than recovering the money people like Lee made by harming others and using it to mitigate the crises we face today in the most effective way possible – through Fair Start family planning reforms that restore nature and truly empower children though better conditions of birth and development. There is no way to effectively protect future generations, and the restored ecologies they need to thrive, without policies that improve family planning outcomes, ideally ensuring all birth occur in conditions consistent with the Children’s Convention.
There are many ways to promote a better future. Take action now.
Healthy living is more than eating vegetables and getting in a daily workout. It is a comprehensive lifestyle that nourishes minds, bodies, souls and the environment. Learn how you can encourage healthy living while avoiding common parenting missteps.
1. Don’t Make Your Kids Clean Their Plates
While a desire to not waste can be appreciated, requiring kids to eat everything on their plates teaches them to ignore natural hunger cues. Instead, try starting with smaller portions and add more as necessary. Another option is to serve meals family-style and give children agency over what and how much they eat.
2. Don’t Use Food as a Reward
One of the oldest parenting tricks in the book is to bribe children with dessert to get them to eat vegetables. This tactic is harmful for multiple reasons.
The food used as a reward is usually highly processed and loaded with sugar. Since humans already have a biological tendency toward sweets, using sugary foods as a reward can increase cravings, leading to obesity, tooth decay and other health issues.
A food-based reward system also interferes with a child’s ability to self-regulate. Receiving a treat as a reward teaches children to eat more for pleasure rather than nourishment. Once children are offered treats as rewards, they learn to associate these nutritionally-deficient foods as desirable and healthy options as a necessary evil. Promote healthy food choices by offering a variety of nutrient-rich vegan options and empowering kids to follow their bodies’ signals. These recipes include ingredients that are more affordable for families than plant-based alternative meats or dairy products.
3. Do Support Dietary Preferences
There are countless types of diets and reasons why individuals adhere to a specific one. Some do so out of medical necessity while others choose dietary practices that align with their value system.
Your child may adopt a diet that differs from your own. Aim to support that choice so long as your child is getting adequate nutrients. For example, a child who is a budding animal rights advocate may commit to veganism. Collaborate to find and prepare vegan recipes. Take the opportunity to learn more about your child and why following a vegan lifestyle is important to him or her.
4. Do Encourage Outside Time
Experts recommend that children of all ages spend at least 90 minutes outside each day. In reality, the average American child plays outdoors for only four to seven minutes daily. Adequate time spent in nature is found to develop confidence, boost creativity, reduce stress and anxiety and promote a sense of environmental stewardship. Try the following ideas to increase outside time:
Plant an edible garden
Create art projects using materials found in nature
Build a bird feeder
Take a hike to a scenic spot like a waterfall
5. Do Seek Help From a Medical Professional
If you find that your child is struggling to develop healthy habits, reach out to a medical professional for help. Instead of waiting to get in-person appointments or dealing with long travel times, seek virtual medical care. Online services are continuously expanding, giving you access to affordable, high-quality care and treatment from primary care providers, dieticians and any other pediatric specialist your child may need.
6. Do Model Positive Behaviors
Inspire your children to lead healthy, meaningful lives. Model positive behaviors and traits, such as mindful consumerism. Leading by example, for example, will help your children to not only make healthy choices for themselves but also be forces for positive change in the world. Teaching them leadership skills can help them develop traits such as integrity, which can last them a lifetime.
7. Help Make the World Wonderful for Them
Lastly, take steps whenever possible to help make the world a better place for your children to grow. Organizations such as Fair Start Movement, for example, strive to help provide support to policies that help kids from all walks of life have an equal opportunity at success in an ecologically sound world. Learn more about The Fair Start Model and look for ways that you and your family can donate or volunteer to help.
Teaching your child to make healthy choices is an action that will impact generations to come. Start early, be consistent and grow together.
Amboseli Love is working hard to achieve noble ends and is focused on next generations, like Fair Start.
Per their leadership:
The Amboseli Love is a non-profit organization based in Amboseli Kenya. Our primary focus is on Orphaned children, children living with disability HIV/AIDs, Rescued children from early marriages and most vulnerable in the community. Amboseli Village is located in Loitokitok, Kajiado South in Oloolarashi/Olgulului group ranch communal Land. Most Maasais in Amboseli are nomads and live in Manyatta Villages with population of around fifty families. With wife inheritance and wife sharing within age sets poses increased danger in spread and new born with HIV/AIDS. That’s where we Amboseli Love get in to educate the community on the risks of shared love and take over the affected children, educated, feed and nature them to their full potential.
